10/6/04 Wed

6 AM, i woke up. For some reason, the water wasn't working right; it came out very slowly. Damn, I have to take a shower. I need one before I go to school. I took a sponge bath for 5 minutes. I got dressed. I ate Cocoa Pebbles and two bananas. I had a cup of milk. I opened the door. I heard someone talking outside. I went outside. I saw Chuck and the lady with the kid talking. he went in the office. She said good morning to him. I ask Chuck about the water. He looked into it. Few mintues later, chuck mentioned he fix the water. I closed the door. This time, I took a REAL shower. I got dressed.

Before 8 AM, Miguel called me. He sorry he didn't call me when he got home last night. He needs to see his doctors this friday and get some papers for Medical. He talked for the longest time. he told me about his ordeal about his hospital visit. He don't want his sister in law to take him to the doctors this friday. the last time was hell. they waited for the doctors all day long. Even it took him about two hours for his medication, but he didn't pick them up. It was getting later. He got them the next day. He was still on the phone, I brushed my teeth, got ready for school and walked to the bus stop. He finally said goodbye after 12 minutes.

Class was fun; I had a blast with powerpoint. I gave the teacher my work. He explained he needed the outlines too. I printed them out and gave him them. I did great with the work. He gave me the test. I got an 80 on the test. I started the next chapter. I saw a Star in my eyes. I sent an email. After class, I want to Sprint PCS in downtown. I paid my bill. I went home. I watched my soaps. I finished off Tuna Helper. Last 15 mintues of Days, Karina came by for the Newsletter meeting. I completely forgot about it. It was good I didn't went to the post office after class.

There was a good crowd for the meeting. I noticed there were some Good Times tapes on the book shelf. I took FIVE tape with me to my seat. Man, I haven't watch that show forever. Mike called me; he wanted to come over for Oprah and email. I explained I was in the meeting. We chatted in the meeting for a while. Mike called me again; he was on his way. the meeting went smoothly. An hour later, i waited for Mike. I signed off the web. He finally showed up after 3 PM. he climbed the fence. I told him he could have buzz.

i gave Mike the bad news that an astrologer died. I mentioned she did the readings for Nanacy Reagan. He thought I talked about someone else. I was suprised that he didn't know she died. Mike always keep up with it. He finally found the news of her death. he was sad. he checked his mail. I finished watching the soaps on tape. I saw Good Times on tape too. It was good to see that wonderful black show again! I missed that show. I ate an salad. I offered him to eat. Mike wasn't hungry. Later he ate a salad with Tuna! He mentioned he will bring some Tuna the next time. I called him a LIAR!! He always promised that. He claimed he will prove me wrong! Yeah, right! Mike went home at 8 PM.

I watched the last episode of Good Times. Damn, I shed a tear. I believed it was my first time to watch it. Keith/Thelma's one year Anniversary was full of suprises; great ending for Good Times. Her husband got a new football contract with the Chicago Bear as a free agent. JJ finally made it big with his art; his super hero comic strip was a smash! His first paid advance was tickets for the newlyweds. Thelma spilled the beans - she was preggie! Everyone was happy. Willona got a job promoted and moving to the same neighborhood as Thelma/Keith. Florida was moving to help her with the her new grandkid. Michael was off to College. And the GOOD TIMES continued.

10/5/04 Tuesday

Miguel called me during Y&R. I mentioned I knew he will call me today. We both said sorry about yesterday. It was a big misunderstanding about Highland and Vine. He wondered if I eat lunch yet. Nope, he wanted to meet somewhere for lunch. I told him I can cook for us. He likes that ideal better. I wanted to cook steak, but I changed my mind. He want to eat the moment he gets there. So, I made Tuna Helper during Days Of Our Lives.

I thought Miguel will call after he take an shower, then he will come over. it was two hours later, he called me from Lucy's during my lunch. YEs, I didn't wait for him to eat. Hey, I was hungry! I watched Ellen. He wanted to eat at the mexican restaurant at the corner. I explained I already cooked for us. He offered to buy some coke at 7/11; he will meet me at my place. I decided to suprised him at 7/11. Ron was leaving too. We walked down together. I saw Miguel crossed the street. He was suprised to see me. We went in 7/11. HE brought a slurpee and Dr. Pepper.

We walked back to my place. The women from King Of Queens was on Ellen. HE doesn't remember what show she was on. I played with him, she was on Saved By The Bell. HE gave me a funny look. I told him that she was on his favourite show, King Of Queens. I fixed him a plate of Tuna Helper. I moved the table to the livingroom. We ate together. We watched Ellen; Ellen was taking care of the baby and did the house chores as she took a day off being lazy around the house. LOL. He didn't ate too much. HE was upset about something; he still want to be lovers. he can't stand being apart from me. I mentioned I have a boyfriend and he needs to fix his life. He started to cry. He wanted to go home. I convinced him to stay. We will always be friends. We hugged each other. He took a nap. I finished my plate.

It was getting too hot for us. I turned on the fan. A while later, he needed help to take off his clothes. he wanted sex, but i declined at first. we ended up having sex. he took an shower. i took one after him. i was in the restroom; he got dressed. he mentioned he wanted to leave. I told him he can leave without me. I finally came out of the restroom. He asked, "do u want to walk with me to the bus stop?" I didn't want to. I just want to stay home. Instead, i went with him to Alvarado. We got something about the store. He was kind enough to give me some money. 304 picked him up. I walked home with the water bottle. Miguel promised to call me when he gets home, but he forgot.

10/4/04 Monday

I arrived at class. Wow! We had a full house. I used the computers on the other side. I noticed some "Don't Use" signs on the computers. I didn't use them. I used one against the wall. I mentioned to the teacher that I was on the other side. He told me that I can use the "Don't Use" computers. It was for the computer class. I started Powerpoint in class. It was easy to learn. I had fun doing it. I like it better than Excel. I finished Excell last friday. I was glad I was done with it.

Miguel called me from Hollywood/Vine after 10 AM. I ran outside to talk to him on the phone. He wondered what I was doing. I was in class till Noon. He offered to buy me lunch. He asked, "What places are close by?" I said, "We can eat at Denny's." He remembered it was by the highway. He will call me when he get there. An hour passed, I haven't heard anything from him. I left class five till Noon. I caught the bus to Vermount/Beverly. I wondered what happened. He should be here by now. He had an hour head start. There was still no signs of him. I sat down at the bus stop. He called me from Hollywood/Viine, "Sorry, I ran into an old friend. We chatted for a while."

I told him that I was at Beverly/Vine. He still wanted to buy me lunch. Somehow, we got our wires crossed. I was going down the elevator. I told him I was going to Highland. He mentioned he has a black shirt on. I waited for the subway. I took the train to Highland.  I went straight up and looked for him. I couldn't believed it. Miguel was nowhere to be found. He should be there before I got there. Hell, no! It was only one stop from Vine for him. Somehow, I beat him there. I got tired of waiting and I caught the subway.

Maybe, he was at Vine. I went upstairs. Well, I missed him there too. I waited for a while. I wondered what happened. i got on the Dash bus. Oops, it was the wrong one. It was heading to Wilshire. I caught 217 to Vermount/Sunset. Miguel called me again, this time from Hollywood/Highland. I told him I waited for him there over 15 minutes. All this time, he was at Vine. I got upset with him. I thought we supposed to meet at Highland. I got off the bus at Western; I was this close of going back to Highland. I mentioned I was mad at him. At the last minute, I changed my mind. I got on the same bus. I gotfed up with him. I told him that I was going home. I didn't want to have lunch with him. I was way too angry with him. It was best that I go home. He promised to call me later. He will get something to eat to take home with him.

 

The Police Raid

The Police Raid

By Kazz Falcon

 

I was a mastermind criminal

I was one of the best out there

The police never caught me until now

I thought I was being smart and careful

I always covered up the crimes

I didn’t leave a trail of clues

Yet, I was being so cocky

I posted my misdeeds on the web at the local libraries

I didn’t want the posts trace back on my computer

I was always one stop ahead of the police

Nobody suspected a thing at the library

I wore disguises to cover up my real identify

The public was intrigue by me

I had a huge following of fans

Some was pretty amazed

The police wasn’t even impressed

My face appeared on America’s Most Wanted

I continued to avoid the police like the plague

I was so sure of not being caught

Man, I was foolishly wrong

I used the computer out in the open

Someone was in my favourite spot – the dark corner

I won’t be at the library that long

I figured I had enough time

I was so deep in thought with the web journal

I lost track of time

The last heist was absolutely fabulous

I considered it to be one of my personal best

The police closed in

It was too late to do anything

I wasn’t ready for the police raid

Lady Bluebeard

Lady Bluebeard

By Kazz Falcon

 

I purchased a farm near town

The late husband was crushed by heavy equipment

I pocketed another $4,000 in insurance money

Much like my first husband – $8,500

He died from a heart attack

His family cried fowl play

I collected the insurance policy one day after the funeral

I placed a personal ad in the newspaper

I wanted a financially secure man to marry

Few men answered the ad

One by one, they came to live with me

Instead, I killed them for their savings

Their relatives haven’t heard from them in a long time

They wrote to me about them

I mentioned I never saw them

Even the neighbors was nosy

They wondered what happened to my kid

I sent her off to boarding school in Los Angeles

As soon a man came, he soon disappeared

His sons wrote to me

I explained he never show up

Another man deposited his savings in a account

Things was starting to unravel

For the money, I was a bloodthirsty farmer

John Doe

John Doe

By Kazz Falcon

 

Who was you?

Where did you come from?

There were no clues about you

No one show up to claim you

You were forgotten

You made a lasting impression on me

The bullet killed you instantly

It damaged your brain very badly

I wondered who did this to you

Was you in trouble?

Who want you to be murder?

It was my job to find out

I gathered up the clues

The bullet was the first clue

I looked in the newspapers

So far, there was no mention of the crime

I searched on the web

I came up with nothing

Something dawned on me

Perhaps, you committed suicide

Some kids saw you floating in the water

The police located a car nearby

We found your fingerprints on the car

There wasn’t a suicide note

The gun was missing

Did someone kill you?

Did you kill yourself?

What was the real story?

Life couldn’t be that bad

I won’t rest till I find out who you was

You must be someone else, besides John Doe

Goals

Goals

By Kazz Falcon

 

I had too much time on my hands

I get bored so easily

I want to do nothing at all

I became so lazy

It was a bad habit

The money made me that way

I don’t have any goals

I lost interest in life

I had nothing to look forward to

Man, my life was so boring

I must do something

But what?

I wasn’t that actively production

I was on SSI for a long time

Maybe, I should do art again

Or, perhaps, some kind of class

It was a good way to start

Perhaps, something bigger will come along

If I don’t set any goals, I wasn’t living

I was dead to the world

Sadly, I was left behind

I need something to shoot for

That was the first goal to set for myself

Goals keeps us ALIVE

It was time to get off my lazy ass

I will do something with my life

I focused on the goals

This House

This House

By Kazz Falcon

 

This house I lived in

It was beautiful at first

Lots of love was there

It was comfortable and pleasant

Sunshine was in every room

Even where the sun couldn’t reach

I was at peace

I had no problems

It was home sweet home

I could live here forever

Now, the house was dark and gloomy

I was concerned about my roomie

Something wasn’t right

There was a large shadow over him

I didn’t felt safe at all

I pestered him till he talk

He confessed he lost his job few months ago

He mentioned he had no other choice

I was confused about the last comment

He admitted the boss fired him

I wondered why

He wouldn’t tell me why

Next few weeks, I noticed lots of people was showing up

Some of them came during the middle of the night

I realized drugs entered our home

My roomie decided to make fast money

He sold drugs at the house

I wasn’t happy about it

This wasn’t a home any more

It was home hell home

He ruined the sunshine in this house

True Calling

True Calling

By Kazz Falcon

 

I was a small kid

I had a great desire to be a big star

Any kind of a star was fine by me

I loved to sing

I loved to act

I loved to be a performer

Everyone loves me

I loved the applauses from everyone

It made me to feel fabulous inside

As I got older, I lost interest in the biz

I lived that Hollywood life all my youth

It wasn’t that exciting any more

I was so jaded by it

Performing wasn’t in my heart any more

It wasn’t fulfilling to me

I wanted a normal life

I was pulled in another different direction

I found something else I love to do

The art gallery fascinated me

I saw so many paintings

I loved the beauty of them

I can do marvelous paintings

It was something different from acting

Where in acting, it was someone else’s world

I lived in their world of pictures

The paintings were my very own pictures

I created a brand new world for me

I saw life through something magical

The paintings made me alive again

I found my true calling

Controversial Poet

Controversial Poet

By Kazz Falcon

 

My poems brought out the anger in some people

They hated the poems very much

They really despised me a lot

They wanted to scratch my eyes out

They believed I could do such a thing

Murder, drugging, rape, prostitute, and other awful things

I wasn’t that kind of a person

I was a sweet, friendly, nice, loving, peaceful person

I wasn’t a sick person like some people claimed

They wondered if I had any morals

Yes, I had good morals I lived by every day

Writing about something does not mean I did it

Nor I had the desire to do those awful things

I don’t go out and kill people

I had no reason to

Ilet bygones by bygones

They were hostile toward me

I had to expect that

But I won’t back down from them

They way I see it, they don’t like the world we lived in

Death, gangs, murder, war and etc

Therefore, they lashed out at me

Not all poems they will love

That was fine by me

I was portraying REAL LIFE in my poems

They don’t like what they see in the world

Who doesn’t?

There were bad things in the media, movies, TV and real life

Some people praised TV shows and movies for being REAL

Yet, they criticized me for being too real

It wasn’t fair to me at all

I felt like I was Jesus Christ

They crucified me on the cross

Jesus represents the truth, just like me

My truth was the reality we lived in

They can’t complain about my poems

Now, you know what I was really about

I wasn't ashamed of my poems

I had no reason to feel guilty about

I said my peace

I was a somewhat controversial poet

 

Husband’s Death

Husband’s Death
By Kazz Falcon

I never ever expect this
My husband was killed in a car accident
He was driving drunk like always
I was expecting him to come out ALIVE
He always managed to stay away from death
He kept on daring death with drunk driving
We were coming home from a restaurant
We celebrated our 20th anniversary
He hit a ditch in the road
He lose grip of the wheel
He crashed into a moving car
I was hardly injured
It still hurt that he was taken away from me
It wasn’t impossible
It don’t supposed to happen that way
He didn’t had a death wish
He always make it out alive
Not this time, he died on the way to the hospital
I can’t believed it
He supposed to be home with me
I cried out loud
Why, God, why?
Please don’t take him away
I can’t survive without him
He was my rock
What went wrong?

All the years, I turned the blind eye

I didn’t want to face his drinking problem

It was my partly fault

I didn’t confront him about his drinking

I knew death was on his doorstep

Yet, it was the farthest thing from my mind

So was the husband's death

Blind Eye

Blind Eye

By Kazz Falcon

 

I was deeply in love with my husband

Nothing could tear us apart

We were happy with each other

Our love was pure and heartfelt

We continued to overcome our problems

My husband was in another car accident

He was in so many accidents that I lost count

It was about the same old crap

He drove drunk and crashed into something

I was so used to it by now

I don’t worry about him that much

He always brushed it off

Nothing bad will ever happen

Yes, he broke an arm and a leg a few times

We was set in our own ways

It was a daily routine for us

I will always be there for him

I don’t want to leave him

I knew it my heart

He won’t leave any time

No matter how many times he was in an accident

He was like a pussy

He has nine lives

I was so grateful

Nothing will keep him down

The accidents made our love stronger

I turned the blind eye like nothing happen

Darkness

Darkness

By Kazz Falcon

 

I looked around

It was impossible to see anything

I can’t even see my own face in the mirror

Everything was pitch black

The storm knocked down the power lines

I didn't had any candles at the cabin

I forgot to buy some at the store

I can’t go far

I will stumble and fall down

It was best to stay where I was

I stayed in bed for the rest of the night

I can’t be scare

There wasn’t a sound

Not even a mouse

It was only the darkness and me

No one else was around

I was miles away from civilization

It was scary to be alone

All hope was lost

I might as well fall asleep

Then I won’t be that scare

The sleep was my security blanket

In the morning, I won’t see darkness

9/25/04 Saturday

I had a fagulous day. I was quite please with everything. The sun was shinning, the buses were cool, everything was marvelous. I left my place after 9 AM. I waited in the hot sun for a while. 304 took me to the post office. I got some mail - Nintendo Power and Entertainment Weekly. Then, I caught 304 to Fairfax. Then I went to Barnes & Noble at the Grove.

I went straight to the chairs. I noticed there was some change on a chair. So much, I wanted to steal it, but I didn't. I could have sat down in that chair. Instead, I got a book. I put the book in my chair. The money was still there. I went back to get more books. Then, I went to my seat again. No one claimed it yet. I was tempted to get the money. I started to read San Fransico Then & Now. The lady next to me got up from her chair. She noticed the money. She asked if it was mine. I said, "No!" I noticed she had a name tag in her hand. Dear Lord! She worked there! It will be so funny that she caught me red handed stealing the money from the seat! OOPS!

Few people came and went from the chairs. I saw a black guy sat down and put some books on the table. Hmm, I was intrigue by the books! They were Buddha books! I wanted to grab one from the table to read. I read London Then & Now, then I read a TV book. The black guy finally left with the books on the table. Of course, I grabbed those books. I read them. It was very interesting to read. I learn more about Budda! So badly, I wanted to buy those books. There were easy to know. I think the next time I will buy them.

There was some web links on the back of the book. I wrote some down on the paper. I will look at those sites. I was at the book store about three hours. I took a walk around the mall. I called Mike at the waterfall pond. He mentioned he will come over tomorrow. He was taking a break from the book. He will start all over. We hung up. I walked in the shade. I finally called Robert. I wanted to get some movies for the weekend. Sean answered the phone instead. He was meaning to call me; he was busy. He couldn't take me yet; he need to go to Barstow to work on his friend's house. We will go after he gets back. I heard Robert yelled, "Hi, Kazz." in the background. I didn't have a chance to talk to him; the phone call was short.

I walked to the bus stop. Damn, it was too hot. I was already sweating. I stood behind the pole. I didn't want to melt. Really, it will put me in the hospital. The dash bus picked me up. Oh well, it was the wrong bus. I didn't want to wait in the sun that long. We turned on La Cingena from Melrose. I saw another Dash bus. I wanted to get off the bus at Melrose. I wasn't sure what bus it was. I realized I saw another dash bus on Melrose going the other way. It was too late to get off. I was thinking of taking that bus to Hollywood/Highland. 

The bus dropped me off at Beverly Center. I thought the Rapid bus was running. I checked the bus sign. Man, it only runs on the weekdays! I was out of luck. I stood behind the pole again. It was hot, hot, HOT! A while later, the dash bus came. It was the same one I got off. He was heading back to Fairfax. Far away, the 105 was coming. I checked my phone. Oops, I missed Mike's call. I called him back. I caught 105. He told me the good news. He is getting a pussy! I mentioned I wanted one too. He explained the women will put the pussies on the floor, if the pussy goes to him, he can have the same one. He prefer to go alone. He can't wait for his pussy. I got off 105. Bus 4 was already at the light. I jumped on bus 4. He was so happy to get a pussy. Mike mentioned he needs to buy food and litter! We hung up the phone.

I realized this wasn't 304. I hate taking bus 4. 304 was my favourite. this time, I didn't mind bus 4. It cool me off from the damn heat.  Thank God! I wasn't in a rush to go home; I want to enjoy this beautiful day more. I arrived at the bus stop. I got home at 4 PM. I listened to the radio. I was hungry. I ate two peanut butter sandwich. I served the web a bit. I looked up the Buddha web sites. I sent them some emails.

"Good evening. I am interest of learning Buddhist and such. I want to learn for the longest time. I haven't find the right place to get information."

Hopefully, they will respond to me this week. I want to LEARN NOW! I was ready for it. It was something I wanted to do.

That was my fun filled day! I may watch tv in a little while or listen to more radio; Disco Night was on KBIG! It was Saturday night!  I may turn to bed early. I may go to church in the morning. Laters, guys.

Teacher’s Forbidden Love

Teacher’s Forbidden Love

By Kazz Falcon

Dedicated to Mary Kay Letourneau 

 

My marriage was falling apart

I felt emotional overwhelmed

Teaching was a bright spot

I was at the right place

I had a difficult time dealing with the marriage

I became emotional involved with a student

We spent more time alone in the class

I helped develop his gift for art

He has a unique gift in art

A question changed everything for me

It has never cross my mind

He asked, “Will you ever had a affair?”

I didn’t know what to think

I was speechless and stunned

I resisted his flirtations

I realized some students had crushes on their teachers

The 13 year old student’s feelings was different

He couldn’t live without me when he gets old

His feelings was truly heartfelt

My resistance faded away

We shared our first kiss

We felt there was nothing wrong

It won’t go any further than the kiss

I admitted I had a very deep love for him

Not long after the first kiss, we had sex

I didn’t felt guilty having sex with him

Something dawned on me

The trouble marriage drawn me to the young affair

My husband and I wasn’t sleeping in the same bed

I continued to have an affair with forbidden love

Spiritalien....

Spiritalien....
09/03/04 09:38pm...........This was from Lynndal1.

His soul is hurting inside
where we can't see

From the outside he looks like
you and me

He has turned his pain into
revenge
taking everyone down with him
till the end

When you see him coming
you better think twice
he is after your soul
and your life

09/03/04 09:59pm......from Lynn

Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn.

09/04/04 02:22am............from me

that was a beautiful poem. keep up the good work

"Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn."

the family is dead.

i am MUCH BETTER without them in my life

09/04/04 03:56am.........from Lynn

The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind.

 

09/05/04 10:58am........from me

"The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind."

u are SADLY MISTAKEN!

 

Dedicated to Lynndal1

I dedicated The Accused to Lynndal1.

Few weeks ago, I put Mickey Finn in the excite forums. Lynn really believed I drugged and raped people.

She was really pist off. She let me have it big time! Also, she believed I spread HIV to others.

HIV Revenge: "NO YOU didn't deserve what has happened to you nor does the poor damn person you give it to." - Lynn

NOTE: Writing about something DOESN'T mean I did it!

It was only my art! I was a talented artist!

I must give her credit; Lynn wasn't the only one. There were others.

 

This is Lynn's response to The Accused....

I already said i was sorry to you what does it take f@cking blood i am staying away from here so don't worry you won't have to put up with me anymore.Keep on writing write what ever the f@ck you want you are an artist with your own style nobody has the right to stop you.Now goodbye and don't send me anymore posts i won't be back here have a good life have a sh@ty life have any kind of f@cking life you want just have a life

Now, this was my response to Lynn.....

You don't have to leave. It won't be the same without you. Lots of people will miss u.  I said my peace.

In closing, I was defending myself in The Accused!

 

The Accused

The Accused

By Kazz Falcon

 

Everyone knows I am an artist

I posted my art in some forums

It was a good way to be recognized

Who knows?

Maybe, an agent can get in contact with me

I could get a book deal

I wasn’t in any rush at all

Sometimes, I ran into some trouble

Some people took my art serious

They accused me of drugging people

They accused me of raping people

They accused me of spreading HIV

They accused me of putting a baby in the dumpster

They accused me about anything

Damn!

Where do they have the nerves?

They hardly know me

They have no right to judge me

I wasn’t hurting anyone with my art

Yet, they felt like I was doing the dirty deed

I was guilty in their eyes

They didn’t care I was innocence or not

They really believed I was one sick individual

One of these days, they will go too damn far

Perhaps, the police may arrest me for my art

They were hostile with me too

I could end up in the hospital or DEAD!

Man, I didn’t do anything wrong

They must stop assuming the worst things in me

I wasn't a bad guy at all

It was ONLY ART

I was the accused

 

9/23/04 Thursday

I went to the post office early in the morning. I had no mail at all. I figured  I will have some. Last Saturday, I had lots of mail. I may start going twice a week. I think Wednesdays after computer class and my usual day, Saturday. I thought about going somewhere else like the book store. I changed my mind. I didn't ate any breakfest. I decided to get peanut butter at Smart & Final. I ran out last week. I took 304 Western/Santa Monica, then the bus to Smart & Final.

I got my things and walked to the bus stop. Few minutes later, 156 and 4 arrived. Lots of people caught bus 4. I ook 156 instead. Bus 4 passed up bus 156! YEAH! I won't have to wait for the bus for a long time. 156 dropped me off at Vermount/Santa Monica. Soon, I caught bus 4 home. Man, the bus was still crowed. I stood in front of the bus. My stop was coming up. I moved back to the bus. I got off the bus and went home.

Oh yeah, Karina held a workshop about resume. She came to my place and got me. I didn't want to go till Passions was over! Pilar was anxious to see her long lost daughter, Paloma. Sheridan looked for her, but she was with Alistair. Alistair was up to her old tricks. He mentioned that the family doesn't care for her. That's why Pilar sent her away to Mexico when she was a baby.

I went to the work shop. There was donuts and three of us, besides Karina. They mostly talked about the kitchen. This guy want to work in the kitchen and wanted to learn; he was a waiter long time ago. One cooking school cost $35,000. No thanx. It was too expensive. Besides, cooking is not my thing. I much preferred to work in the office. Ronald brought up the class at Path; he really like the class. We had a nice time at the workshop.

Karina mentioned she wanted to do an newsletter for the apartments. Stories, poems, pictures will be in it. The first newsletter meeting will be on Oct 6 at 1:30 PM. I will be there; it was something I was interest in. Karina dismissed the workshop. I took some donuts with me. I ate some at my desk. I emailed her some poems; she will choose some.

The rest of the day was average.............

“Amnesia” Roman Brady

“Amnesia” Roman Brady

By Kazz Falcon

 

I stumbled into Salem in 1986

Yet, I was still lost

I can’t remember who I was

I don’t recognize the area

I was wrapped up in bandages

I came across Dr. Marlena Evans

She helped me to unravel my past

She feared I was her worst enemy – Stephano

I had a phoenix tattoo on my shoulder

I slowly recovered my memory

She noticed certain familiar patterns

It dawned on her

Was I her long lost husband?

She found out I had plastic surgery

She saw pictures of Roman at the surgeon’s office

She was convinced I was her long lost husband

She believed Stephano brainwashed and redesigned me

She told me about the pictures

I couldn’t believed it

I “changed” my looks

I felt like I was home again

I was reunited with the woman I love

I was reunited with our kids

I accepted my place in her heart and home

I was happy to have my life back

hi i luv u

9/18/04 Saturday

I woke up after 8 AM. I ate breakfast. I was online to check the emails and posts. I got a email noticed about an reply in a forum. I checked out it. I was shocked beyond belief. The stupid guy wants to BLACKLIST me from the forum. Everhope don't like my beliefs in God. I didn't do anything wrong at all. He has some nerves!

"I do not condemn you." - Everhope

 He is a DAMN hypocrite for judging me!

"It is likely you will soon be removed from this forum." - Everhope 

Everhope threatened to BAN me from the forum.

OKAY! I am done with the low life!

It was nice out this morning. It was cool and the sun wasn't out. I walked to 304 bus stop. I waited about 10 minutes. 2 and 4 Bus came. I was tempted to take 4, but I wanted to take 304. I caught the bus to the post office. Damn, I had lots of mail! two issue of Entertainment Weekly and SOD. Tony DiMera was on the new cover. It was a good read. Tony was the mastermind of the island and Marlena being a serial killer. I didn't read all of it. I waited for the bus. I read it on the bus thou. Tony wanted to give them the same hurt he recieved all those years ago. PAYBACK IS HELL!

I decided to go to The Grove. It was such a lovely day. I didn't want to go home. Last week, I mentioned I was tired of staying home all the time. This time, I was true to my word. I waited for the bus on Fairfax. The bus dropped me off at 3rd and fairfax. I walked through Farmer's Market to Barnes & Noble at the Grove. It was very nice. Lots of people out at the mall. Everyone was enjoying the warm weather. I went to the third floor and read a book. I was there for a few hours. Mike called me with some bad news. They won't publish his astrology book; they didn't understand the language. It was a big let down for him. He was looking forward to it. Someone else will publish his book. I took a walk around the Grove.

I headed to the bus stop. The bus just left. I caught the next bus a minute later. I got off at Sunset/Vermount. I waited for a while. I took the bus home. I saw Ken across the street. We waved at each other. I continue reading SOD. I looked back. Ken was going home with this black guy. Hmmm, a trick! You go, Ken! I opened the gate. I left the gate unlocked for Ken.  I opened my door and put down my stuff. I looked at the time, 3:35 PM. Ken and him walked up the steps. I was hungry. I ate two burentos. I had some tang. I went online for a while. There was nothing on TV. I saw the black guy walked pass by door at 5:25 PM. He was on his way home. Well, Ken and him had some FUN!

to be continued.....

hi i luv u

Macaulay Culkin

  Macaulay Culkin was arrested by the Oklahoma City police for drug possession on Friday, September 17.

 

hi, i love u

Tracy Gold

Sep 14, 9:41 PM (ET)

MOORPARK, Calif. (AP) - Former "Growing Pains" actress Tracey Gold was arrested earlier this month after her sport utility vehicle flipped on a highway, injuring her husband and two of their three children, police said.

Tracey Gold Marshall, 35, was booked for investigation of felony drunken driving after the Sept. 3 crash, California Highway Patrol officer Steve Reid said Monday.

Marshall wasn't hurt, but her husband, Roby Marshall, 39, suffered neck injuries, the officer said. The couple's 7-year-old son suffered a broken collarbone and a 5-year-old son was cut, but their 4-month-old son wasn't hurt, Reid said.

The Marshalls' home telephone number was unlisted and the actress couldn't be reached for comment.

The SUV, with Marshall at the wheel, veered off the highway just before midnight and it rolled over on its way down an embankment, Reid said.

Officers suspected the actress was under the influence of alcohol and she was booked at the county jail. She posted $50,000 bail the following day and was released. A court date wasn't immediately available, the highway patrol said.

Gold played Carol Seaver during the seven-year run of "Growing Pains," which ended production in 1992.

I was shock by the news. I never thought she will do such a thing. I remembered seeing her on On Air With Ryan Seacrest few months ago. She was friendly and cheerful. She was waiting for her newborn baby. Kirk Cameron suprised her with present. I think they haven't see each other since the growing pains movie.

I learned on Entertainment Tonight that she wasn't charge yet. The police is investigating. Sadly, she ruined her son's life. She will have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. She could have kill them.

It could have been lots worse. This new poem went further than her.

Irresponsible Parent

By Kazz Falcon

 

My husband drank too much at the restaurant

I didn’t want him to drive

We got in the car

We were on our way home

The young son fell asleep in the back seat

I tried my best to drive

It was pouring down rain

I couldn’t see straight

Sadly, I was all over the road

I accidentally jumped the curb

I ran into a tree

I was shocked

Our son was in lots of pain

I reached out for him

He couldn’t move

I wasn’t able to get to him

I forgot the husband was in the car

No, he wasn’t

He flew through the window

He didn’t had his seatbelt on

I cried for help

I checked his pulse

I killed my husband

Dear Lord! What have I done?

I heard the ambulance coming

The police showed up moments later

I told the police the truth

I was driving drunk in the rain

I thought I was able to drive

Look at the mess I made

My husband was dead

My son was cripple

I felt so ashamed of myself

I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life

I was theblame

I should have know better

The alcohol clouded my judgment

I was an irresponsible parent

 

9/14/04. Tuesday

Yesterday, I forgot to add an entry for yesterday which I am doing today before tomorrow comes in 35 minutes. Got that?

I got off the bus on Vermount/Beverly. I went to the corner. This guy guy caught my attention. I felt like he wanted me. I wouldn't pay attention to him. I was anxious to get away from him. I want to focus on my life, not sex. When I became successful, then i will start thinking of a new lover. Right now was not the time for a fling or a new lover. He was handsome. It was hard NOT to look at me. He didn't stop looking at me.

I went to class. It was much better. I am getting an hang of the class. It was cold in the room too. I was glad I brought the coat with me. I was learning new things in class like atl + shift D = Date. T is the time. I was excited. It will take me far. I can see myself working at a publisher or some studio. It was a dream. Perhaps, I can get my book published.

I gave the teachers my work. I didn't do that well. I need to do the papers again. There was 30 minutes left. I couldn't redo my work. I did the next best thing; I uploaded the class' school papers on yahoo briefcase. I should have done this two years ago. I bet I would have finish the class. Everything was in the briefcase. I went straight home. I jumped into the work. I did the papers again. It took me a while to figured what I went wrong. The papers look better now. I can print the papers in class, then he will grade them. I will go on to something else.

Today, I mostly did more poems. I was happy with all of them. Here is one...

 

Unhappy Home

By Kazz Falcon

 

I wasn’t happy living at home

My parents fought all the time

They blamed each other for everything

Neither of them shows me any attention

I was sad inside

I was a good kid

I wasn’t getting good grades

I thought it was my fault

I did something wrong

They claimed I was the root of the problem

I tend to believe that

If I was never born, they will be happier

I don’t know why I deserve the abuse

All kids wanted to be love by a parent

I was in a hateful environment

They never ever wanted me at all

I was a mistake they foolish made

I was paying for their mistake

Why me?

I was innocence

I didn’t have a choice to come into this world

I just happened

Presto, I was born 9 months later

They felt like they were forced into marriage

I was the blame for the fighting

That was my unhappy home

Open Window

Open Window

By Kazz Falcon

 

I love sleeping at night with an open window

The cold wind breezes through the house

It felt so comfortable

I always sleep like a baby

One night, I was sound asleep in bed

Someone entered the room

He got in bed with me

He put his hand on my leg

Finally, my husband was home from work

It was dark in the room

I could barely see his face

We begun kissing passionate

I noticed he was a little rough

I mentioned he was hurting me

He didn’t care at all

He wanted me right then and there

I couldn’t stop him

He was too strong for me

I was helpless

I screamed out loud

“Stop it! Stop it! Someone help me,” I yelled

My dear old husband wanted to rape me

He covered up my mouth

I was scared for my life

Out of the blue, someone broke down the door

They got into a fight

He escaped through the window

He turned on the light

I was dumbstruck

Dear Lord! My husband saved me from danger

I had no ideal it was someone else

I was safe once again

He looked around the bedroom

The window screen was missing

Crime invited itself through the open window

 

Is God A Killer?

Is God A Killer?

By Kazz Falcon

 

Some people thought so

He wasn’t a real God

He could never send people to hell

It wasn’t his nature

He was a sweet loving God

God sent his begotten son to earth

Jesus wants to save us from our sins

Isn’t that special?

Jesus was a gift from God

We have a choice

We can either accept him or reject him

Yet, they continued to believe God is a killer

Really, he wasn’t

God wasn’t forcing us to hell

He gave us Jesus Christ

He was allowing us to go

All along, it was our choice