Diablo 2

All I did was Diablo 2, besides the regular stuff.

 

hi

8/17/05 Wednesday

Peter woke up me early about 6:50 AM. He wanted to know if I wanted to see a early movie with him about a zebra and the stripes. I passed. I was still tired. I tried to go back to sleep. It was hard! Once I am awake, my day begins.

I put my new movie, Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, in the DVD. Peter called me during the movie. He wanted to come over for a while. I stopped the DVD. I figured he want to watch the same movie. I had some eggs and toast for breakfast. I smoked outside. Chuck need my last three bank statements; the guy haven't recieve anything from the bank. I found my statements. I looked for Chuck. He saw me from upstairs. I gave him the statements. Chuck needs to make some copies.

Peter scared the living daylights out of me. Peter was in a girlie voice, "How is your day coming along?" I didn't expect him too soon. Chuck returned my statements. I showed Peter The Midnight Mission poem. He asked, "What brought it on?" I mentioned that a neighbor wanted to eat at a mission yesterday for supper. I brought up my ordeal with the homeless shelter. Last night, I did the poem. I sent the shelter my poem! LOL

Peter and I watched Priscilla. He really like the movie. It was his time to see it. Brian haven't see the movie either. He mentioned he want to take the movie home later on today. I smoked again. Peter took a nap. I played Diablo 2 till Peter gave the game a try. He had a name in my account. Hours laters, Peter was getting good.He was getting use to the game.

The mailman knocked on my door. All right! My movies came! I was disappointed. All the movies was there except ONE - Pink Flamigo. I really wanted that movie. Peter mentioned I need to tell Columbia House. Peter continued playing Daiblo 2. Micky called me; he wanted to say hi. I told him that a friend and I was going to watch a movie. Micky hung up the phone; he didn't want to intrude my time with a friend.

I cooked Tuna Helper. Peter was still playing the game. The food was done. I asked, "Do you want some food?" Peter wasn't sure; he may eat out with Brian. I ate my food. Brian called Peter; they were going to eat supper together. Peter went to meet him somewhere. I had another helping of food. I watched The Jeffersons season 1, then Desperate Living. I did my journal. Good night.

Midnight Mission

Midnight Mission

By Kazz Falcon

 

I was homeless in LA

I stayed at Midnight Mission

I was glad that I had a place to stay

It saved me from skid row

I know I wouldn’t survive in the streets

I followed the rules

I "scored" points at the shelter

The points let us to stay longer

It was time for a change

I wanted a new look

I was tired of my brown hair

The beauty shop changed me into a blond

I looked marvelous

It was the first time to change my color

I went back to Midnight Mission

I showed my hair to my friends

Everyone seems like my blond hair

The head honcho wanted to see me

I went in his office

He really hated my new look

It costs an uproar big time during July 4th weekend

He found himself "an out"

He mentioned it didn’t look good at the shelter

Huh?

I didn’t understand

My new look had nothing to do with the shelter

He gave me an ultimatum

He ordered me to change it back to brown

Or shave it off

He gave me a few days to decide

Well, I don’t have to think about it

He has no right to tell me what to do

I flat out refused

He kicked me out for not being a blond

He used the blonde hair as "an excuse"

He discriminated me for being gay

At least, I stood my ground

I will rather to be blonde AND gay,

Then listen to a low life jerk at Midnight Mission

8/16/05 Tuesday

Early this morning, I shopped at Vons for groceries. It was a good thing I went - some cereals was on SALE! I had one box of Corn Flakes to my name. I saved lots of money.

By the time I got home, I was so hot. It was cool in the morning. I watched Saturday Night Fever. I watched my soaps

I checked my mail; I got two movies from Columbia House; Rocky and Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. I watched Rocky.

That was the day.

8/14/05 Sunday

I woke up about 7 AM. I took a quick shower. I thought About not going with Peter/Brian to the Tall Boats show. I didn't get enough sleep last night. Peter called me...u know an wake up call. I just wanted to eat breakfast, then I will tell them I wasn't going.

I took bus 4 to Western/Santa Monica. I called Peter; they were on the way to the bus stop. I waited at the bus stop. I saw them inside the bus. They strolled around the corner and walked down the other side of the street. I don't think they saw me at the bus stop. I walked down to McDonald's. They got to the corned. The light turned green. They ran across the street and rushed into McDonald's. I went inside. Peter said, "What take you long? We were here a long time." He was playing with me. We ate breakfast. I showed them the new poem.

The poem makes sence. Most people don't see the real talent; they only see the OTHER person. After all, I write as the first person, not the third person. All this time, I got the first person and the thrid person messed up. Writing as the first person is much easy for me.

We took bus 4 to the red line, the subway to Union Station. Peter/Brian looked at the bus times. One will be there shortly. We went upstairs. We chatted for a while. Brian was still working at the one place. Brian brought up about moving. He figured moving up north will be a great ideal. We lived in LA forever. Brian wants to get a house in the East Bay. There are more job openings for his kind of work. Peter and I likes the moving ideal. I won't mind moving, but...we need to money or, at least, someone hit it big!

We took 446 to the Tall Boat show. We grabbed something to eat. We ate at the table. We looked around at the booths. They brought a small tain glasss with a boat or a lighthouse. Then, we went to see the tall boats. The lines was full. We got in line. Brian decided we can get in another line. We went inside a building and saw lots of boats. I took some pictures. We were there about 45 minutes. We went outside. We walked around.

On the other side, some people fed some fishes to some seals. We took some pictures. A crowd gathered around and took some pics too. We finally waited in line. They guy told us to wait; it's time to let some people off the boat. We walked on the boat and saw everything. I took some pics of Brian/Peter and the boat. We walked to the trian station. We changed our minds and went to the mexican restuarant. We waited atthe bar; drinking. Peter came back; our table was ready. We went outside to eat.

We walked to the bus stop. The bus was coming; we almost miss the bus. We ran and made it on time. We went to Union Station. We got off at Santa Monica. We went our separate ways. I took bus 4 home.

I was pretty tired. I watched the Fox 11 news. Once again, there was another car chase. Someone carjacked a car with a gun. Few times, Fox 11 lost the feeds from the helicopter. At the end, the guy stopped the car. He got out of the car. There was no running from the police. They arrested him. After the news, I went to sleep.

8/13/05 Saturday

I woke up early this morning. I had no breakfast. Just in case I get hungry, I put some crackers in the backpack. It was cold outside. I took my leather coat with me. I just went straight to the post office. Like always, I took bus 304.

I got my EW magazine and the bank statement. I read EW at the bus stop, smoking. I didn't want to go home. It was such a nice day to pass up. I went to Barnes & Noble at The Grove. This time, I wasn't bored like last Saturday.

I read Then & Now East Bay and the very first Peanuts comic strips in the Peanuts book. I liked The Peanuts book. I may get it some day.

Peter called me. He thought I was going to meet them at the Glendale mall. I told him that I was already at the mall. There was no plans of any kind today. I wanted to call them at the bus stop in Weho, but they were still in bed. I didn't want to disturb them at 8:30.

Brian wanted to get a new wallet at the mall. He lost his. Peter invited me to see The Wedding Crashers in Los Feliz. I told him that I might go. I wasn't interest of going at all. Something else might happen. They will text me later with the movie time.

Peter noticed I was sad in my voice. I lied that everything was fine. Peter knows me quite well. I will tell them tomorrow about Micky. I didn't want to ruin their day today. Sometimes, I will keep things to myself. Yes, I know! It is good to talk with friends about the problems. Today wasn't that day.

After 1 PM, I caught the bus. I got off at Jons. I brought something sweet to eat. I had any food yet. I ate two chocolate filled French Twists at the bus stop. Mum always buy them when I was a lad. I took the Vermount bus to SM, then bus 4 home.

I watched Hercules with Kevin Sorbo on DVD. Brian called me during the first episode. I declined the movie offer. I was more into Hercules. They thought I had a trick over! They was further from the truth! LOL. I mentioned I was still good for tomorrow's plans. We will take some pics of some ships. Peter told me about it at the book store. I didn't know anything about it. I don't keep up with the latest in LA. Yes, the world was passing me by. :-(

I saw the first two Hercules episodes, then I watched some regular TV like I Love Lucy, Married W Children on Fox 11. I listened to disco music on KBIG. I did some art.

That was about the day Ihad.

Hate Crime

Hate Crime

By Kazz Falcon

 

Man, oh, man!

I really hated the faggots

They grossed me out big time

That lifestyle wasn’t right in God’s eyes

It was plain wrong

It supposed to be a man/woman, not the same sex

They were ruining the human race

All humans should procreate

I was glad that God forbids them in Heaven

That was one place we will be free of them

I can’t tolerate the sick individuals

It really sickened me

I won’t stand for them any more

It was time for a serious beating

I drove around town late at night

A feminine guy was hitching a ride

I remained calm and pulled to the side

He needs a ride home to West Hollywood

I picked him up

I mentioned I know a short cut

In truth – I took him to a dark alley

Of course, I sexually misled him

He fell for my wicked charms

He was interested of getting it on

I planted a kiss on his lips

He foolishly let his guard down

I had him where I want him

I made my move with a knife

He was scared for his life

He pleaded for his safety

Hell, no!

I had to get rid of that faggot

The world will be better off without him

I stabbed him to death

There was no stopping the hate crime

Out Of The Closet

Out Of The Closet

By Kazz Falcon

 

Since I was a teen, I dreaded the moment

Back then, being gay wasn’t acceptable by the public

I stayed in the closet as long I could

I didn’t want any backlash

I feared to be gay bash

I didn’t feel safe in White Settlement

I was tired of living a lie

White Settlement was no longer home

The small town was a jail

I was trapped and miserable

I can’t be myself

Therefore, I moved to West Hollywood

Weho opened lots of doors for me

I was safer

I was very happy living there

I can be myself

I had freedom unlike White Settlement

I was proud of who I was – a gay man

I wasn’t ashamed

I came out of the closet

Jade09

Jade09 from Planetout got on my case for giving my lover the HIV virus. He was really angry about the HIV Guilt.

I let him have it big time!

What a horrible, selfish thing to do to someone you "love". You should be prosecuted for murdering your lover. I wonder how many more people you have deliberately infected with a terminal illness because you "loved" them so much, that you could not bear the thought of losing them.
You'll lose him now- from the disease you gave him.. I hope you are imprisoned for the rest of your irresponsible life.

 

This is my response.

Please get off your HIGH HORSE!

The police will NEVER EVER arrest me for giving the lover the HIV disease.

I will remain a free man!

Really, the police can do NOTHING about it.

Yes, I admitted I gave him HIV.

There is NO WAY that I will be lock up.

 

I sent Jade09 an email with the same response.

 

Was It Me?

Was It Me?

By Kazz Falcon

 

I thought my love was good enough.

I gave him flowers.

I gave him candy.

I gave him gifts.

I always mentioned, “I love you.”

I shared my life with him.

He even know my deep darkness secrets.

I took him out on the town once in a while.

I cooked him romantic dinners.

He had my loving attention.

He was distance from me.

He was in another world.

I wondered what went wrong.

I was there for him.

He didn’t return any love.

I was heartbroken.

I believed he felt the same way.

Maybe, I was wrong.

Maybe, I wasn’t giving him enough love.

Was it me?

What Happened?

Micky called me in the late afternoon. He asked,"How are you?" I said, "I am mad."

He figured out why. He didn't show up few days ago. He stood me up! :-(   I waited for him. He mentioned he was sorry. Yeah, right!

He claimed he fell asleep. I just don't buy it. He could have call me the next day or that night. Did he? Hell, no!

Somehow, he threw it back in my face. Huh? I didn't do anything wrong.

Then, he put the blame on me. He mentioned I don't let him to come over sometimes. Hello, he don't have to come over ALL THE TIME.

the truth - it wasn't even about me. It wasn't about us. It was about him.

He wanted to come over this afternoon. I refused. I don't want to do anything with him for a while. I was tired of his abuse.

I thought about kicking him out of my life for good. He will lost a good friend in me.

It will be better that he stays out of my life.

DVD Movies

The DVD movies from Columbia House are coming soon! I am so happy!

Order Date: 8/8/05   

Completed Orders (orders already shipped)

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - $5.98 

Rocky - $5.98 

The Jeffersons: The Complete First Season - $22.46  

The Jeffersons: The Complete Second Season - $22.46  

Shallow Grave - $9.98  

Torch Song Trilogy - $9.98  

Fried Green Tomatoes Collector's Edition - $5.98  

V: The Original Miniseries - $5.98  

Desperate Living - $5.98  

Pink Flamingos 25Th Anniversary Edition - $5.98  

The total was $108.04.

 

Book Agent

Looking for a BOOK AGENT

Reply to: anon-90551544@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-08-11, 11:16PM PDT


I am looking for a book agent.......someone to help me to get my foot in the publishing world.

I believed I am talented enough.

I have enough poems for a book.

If you are interest, send me an email.

Be sure to tell me about your HISTORY as an AGENT.

I want a REAL agent!

I felt like my time have come.

• this is in or around West Hollywood
  
• no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  
  90551544
  

Michael Alig, The Party Monster

Michael Alig, The Party Monster
By Kazz Falcon

I was a famous club kid
I was a party promoter in Manhattan
I learned from my mentor, James St. James
Everyone wore outrageous costumes at the clubs
I assigned them names and personas
I opened a new world for them
They have never experience this kind of club life before
They can openly be themselves
There weren’t any hassles from anyone
Some people didn’t know what to think of us
I was very pleased with the club kids image
I developed an expensive drug habit
It didn’t stop me from partying
I still had a fabulous time everywhere
Nothing could stop the good times
Then again, something bad happened
I was sleeping
Angel, the drug dealer, barged into the apartment
I didn’t know what’s happening
He demanded some money
I didn’t pay him lately
He continued to be forceful
He wanted the money right then and there
Sorry, I had no money at all
He was aggressive with me
I was defending myself
Things were out of control
I bludgeoned Angel with a hammer
I poured Drano down his throat
I chopped off his legs
I dumped his body in Hudson River
Angel was no longer a burden
Thank Goodness it was over
I killed him in self-defense

Drug Addiction Baby

Drug Addiction Baby

By Kazz Falcon

 

I felt so ashamed

My newborn baby was addiction to drugs

It was my entire fault

I did heroin with a needle

I just didn’t care

My main concern was the next hit

No matter how I get it, I put the baby in jeopardy

I wasn’t thinking about the baby

I wanted to get high at any cost

Sadly, I didn’t want the baby

I felt like the pregnancy ruined my life

I wasn’t ready to be a mother

I just punished my baby

I don’t deserve him

I was an unfit mother

I wanted no part of him

I didn’t see him after the birth

It was much better that way

My baby could have a REAL mother

She would take better care of him

I signed my parental rights away

I gave up the drug addiction baby

Micky

Micky called me after 2:30 PM. He wanted to come over to have some fun. He mentioned that he lives with Mike, his ex lover, again. He promised that he will be over 45 minutes. I took a quick shower. I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited........you know the drill. LOL

I finally gave up by 5 PM. Damn, I hated when he DOES NOT show up. I bet he went to the damn clubs again. I am so sick and tired of him.

I should have known he wouldn't show up. It happened many times before.

 

Another Visit

I have a feeling that the law enforcement will pay me another visit about the "Personal Written Poems" on Craig's List.

Come on now. I did nothing wrong. It is not ILLEGAL to post an ad.

This time, I put the ad under Rants & Raves.

Hey, I am just trying to get my ART out on the web. There's nothing wrong with that.

I can get more people interest in my art.

 

This is the ad...

Personal Written Poems

Reply to: anon-90085134@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-08-10, 12:54AM EDT


If u want a PERSONAL written poem signed by yours truly, send me an EMAIL.


I will send you the web address, then u can tell me what poem you like of mine on my web site, I will personal write the poem and signed by me.


I will email the written poem to you.


All poems are Copyright © 2005 Kazz Falcon


Thanx a million.

• this is in or around New York City
  
• no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  

90085134

Personal Written Poems

Spirit Alien

Personal written poems signed by yours truly.

Tell me what poem you like of mine on my web site, I will personal write the poem and signed by me.

I will email the written poem to you.

All poems are Copyright © 2005 Kazz Falcon

8/8/05 Monday

I took the movies back at Best Buy. The refund was over $250. The worker asked "Why do you want a refund?" I said, "I am with a movie club on the web."

The movies are very CHEAP with the Columbia House club.

I just ordered some movies - Rocky, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Shallow Grave, Torch Song Trilogy, Fried Green Tomatoes Collector's Edition, V: The Original Miniseries, Desperate Living and Pink Flamingos 25Th Anniversary Edition.

Of course, the first/second season of The Jeffersons too!

The bill was $108.04. Some movies costed $5.98. I got a pretty good deal with Columbia House!

8/7/05 Sunday

I spent the day with Peter/Brian at Redonda Beach. We had a nice time. We ate at a very nice seafood restuarant. Brian paid for the first round of drinks at the bar. We ate outside.

8/6/05 Saturday

I picked up my mail at the post office. I called Peter/Brian at home; there was no answer. I decided to go The Grove for a little while. I read my magazines at the book store. The boredom got to me; there was nothing else to do. I checked out the TV DVDs. Boy, I saw the second season of The Jeffersons. So much, I want to get it, but I didn't have the discount card on me. Hopefully, I will get it some day.

I went out for a smoke and walked around. Even that was boring. I hopped on the bus and went to Hollywood/Highland mall. I was bored too. There was nothing excites me, EXCEPT The General Lee from The Dukes Of Hazzard movie. It was in front of Manns' Theater on the star's footprints. I wished my camera was with me! I will have take pics of that car. Hopefully, I can take some pics tomorrow.

I took the subway to Santa Monica and went home, I was still bored!

Gee, couldn't be life be any more EXCITING?

 

The End Of My Rope

The End Of My Rope

By Kazz Falcon

 

I was tired and beaten

My addiction worn me down

Can’t you see my frown?

I shed a tear of millions

My boss noticed I wasn’t doing a good job

I mentioned I couldn’t get any sleep

He knew better than that

He released me from my duties

He promised my job would be waiting for me

Throughout the years, I was at many rehab centers

I couldn’t escape my addiction

It took control of my life

No matter how hard I try, I wasn’t able to stop

I always go back to heroin

The habit was hard to break

I injected it in the arm with a needle

It made me to feel so good

I don’t have a problem in the world

The heroin was the one I wanted the most in life

I didn’t care about anything else

I continued to lose everything AND everyone

I couldn’t handle what I became

I felt very bad that it truly cost me my life

It was the end of my rope

Captured By Hate

Captured By Hate

By Kazz Falcon

 

I had such a beautiful wife

She was my joy and love

I adored everything about her

She was kind, sweet, loving, caring and a great comfort

She will do anything for you

I couldn’t ask for a better spouse

One stormy night, she didn’t come home on time

I became worried about her

It wasn’t like her to be late

I didn’t call the police

She wasn’t missing for 24 hours

I drove around the neighborhood in the rain

I noticed someone lay by the curb

I parked the car

I ran to check the person

My worst nightmare came true

I found her in a pool of blood

She bled to death

A thug stabbed her with a knife

Her purse was missing

He took my wife from me

How could someone do such a thing?

She didn’t have a mean bone in her body

I regretted for not protecting her

I wished I was with her

Things would be different

She would still be alive

I became angry

I couldn’t stop the rage

He will be sorry for killing my wife

He will pay with his life

I won’t stop till he is DEAD

The killing engulfed my soul within

The hate grew stronger by each second

I vowed to avenge her death

I was captured by hate

The Hit

Today was the day. I was on the way to meet that person at a disclosed location. No one will suspect a thing. As long I keep everything under wraps, I won't get in trouble with the law.

The Hit

By Kazz Falcon

 

The hit will be unexpected

None will be the wiser

It’s best to be that way

No on can stop the hit

It must be successful first

Then, he will receive payment

I waited for a long time

He was the perfect choice to be the hit man

I trusted that he wouldn’t tell the police

I won’t go to jail; even it kills me

My fate was in his hands

I depended on him

Hopefully, he will get the job done

It means the world to me

It will be worth every cent

There won’t be any more pain or headache

Soon, that life will end

I won’t miss the dreadful life

The only difference between Terry and me

Her husband pulled the plug on her life

I had a choice to end things

I can live with the decision

Bring on the hit

HIV Guilt

HIV Guilt

By Kazz Falcon

 

My boyfriend took an HIV test

He gave me the bad news

He was HIV +

He wondered how it happened

We always practiced safe sex

We haven’t been with someone else

We had a monogamy relationship

He started to cry

I comforted him

He shouldn’t be worry

It wasn’t the end of his life

Things happened for a reason

We had no control over things

Back in my mind, I know the truth

I gave the disease to him

I kept my HIV status a secret

I loved him so much

I didn’t want to lose him

That’s why I didn’t tell him

I was afraid that he wants no part of me

I put his life at risk

I felt so guilty

Childhood Homes

there are many people want to check their childhood home in the old neighborhood.

All my life, I want to see the home in Cleveland. We used to lived in a two story brick house on the corner in the mid 1970's. the landlords lived on the first floor. my family lived on the second.

we lived across a playground; the church was the next door.

I forgotton the address. i have no ideal what happen to the neighborhood.

then, we moved to Fort Worth to by near my granny, my mum's mum, in the late 70's.

We lived at 8212 Susssex St. in White Settlement. My mum rented the house from granny. I remembered the house and the neighborhood quite well. We lived there for many many years.

The last thing I heard about 8212 Sussex, the house was tored down in the 1990's. Someone is living at that address now. I haven't look at the new house.

I could imagine their house is much better than the old one!

Hopefully, some day, I could drop in for a visit and looked at the new house!

 

Honesty

"Is there a point to your ramblings?" - Chris in the gay forums.

I was being honest about my HIV status.

Yet, that guy ACCUSED me of spreading AIDS.

He have no right to ATTACK me the way he did.

What happened to honesty?

 

Heaven & God

Heaven & God

By Kazz Falcon

 

I read in the bible that being gay is a sin

That doesn’t wash my hands

I just don’t believe that

God made me a homosexual

Therefore, how can it be a sin?

Besides, God want a variety of people on earth

The bible said, “Do not judge.”

Yet, some people do it any way

They judged me for being gay

Let’s talk about homosexuality in the bible

It’s best to talk about Heaven and God first

Picture this

It’s the judgment day

I stood in front of God

It was the only the two of us, not counting Jesus and Mother Mary

Who else do I see?

I don’t see anyone else, not my friends, family or strangers

Why?

It’s between God and me

It’s really about God and me, no one else

The relationship is between God and me

God is the judge of my life

No one else judges me in heaven

Why can’t it be like that on earth where no one judges you?